About IworkAt711 : I'm tired.
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IworkAt711's favorite FMLs
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML
by Okay_Then / 01/01/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Rob / 12/18/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by ElephantLover / 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by mistletoe / 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by GetOutOfMyHouseLoser / 12/08/2013 at 6:44pm / United States / Love
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
by john doe / 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by eer004 / 12/07/2013 at 5:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Cat Ashes / 12/05/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by no she wasn't high / 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML
by bad poet / 12/01/2013 at 8:57pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:02am / Norway / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…