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  • Number of visits : 17665
  • Number of comments : 2882
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Intoxicunt's page activity

Visits<b>FoxOne</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 5:39am<b>HeavyWeaponsGuy</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 1:05pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 10:02pm<b>crethan33</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 1:00am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 5:17pm<b>Trainn</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 1:44am<b>Zeldawarriorxo</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 11:51pm<b>travisinthetrunk</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 5:06am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Gwenevier</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 9:20pm<b>manofmerr</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 1:01am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 4:33pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 2:01am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 7:23pm<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 4:27pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 11:57pm<b>Sj1147</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 11:18pm<b>DragonBorn69</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 10:40am

Fucked!<b>Zeldawarriorxo</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 5:31pm<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 10:27pm<b>Shaky_Spear</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 10:40pm<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 6:06am<b>COL_Obvious</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 11:49pm<b>GolgiTendonOs</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:18am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 6:53pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 5:42am<b>WujuMaster43</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 1:55am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:15am<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:00am<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:09am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:45pm<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:51am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:16pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:23pm

Intoxicunt's FML badges


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Intoxicunt's badges

Intoxicunt's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

by imok / 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

by doggybag / 09/24/2009 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

by fmlxxxx / 09/23/2009 at 9:15am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Holidays

Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML

by BluesMan1990 / 09/16/2009 at 6:21am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML

by ofcourse / 09/13/2009 at 2:12am / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

by Cherie / 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

by mariokarter / 08/28/2009 at 12:41am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation