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Intoxicunt

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Intoxicunt

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16361
  • Number of comments : 2882
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Intoxicunt's page activity

Visits<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 12:17am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:10pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:47pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:26am<b>Perfectly_Killer</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:57pm<b>superwil</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:18pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:52pm<b>frodosynthesis69</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:42am<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:00pm<b>TheCookieComet</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 9:27am<b>CheyMiichelle</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:27pm<b>keyface5</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:22pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 5:17pm<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm<b>walte171</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:23am<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 12:49am<b>Thorin2012</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:17am

Fucked!<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:00am<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:09am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:45pm<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:51am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:16pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:23pm

Intoxicunt's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Intoxicunt's badges

Intoxicunt's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42255) - you deserved it (3040)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7317) - you deserved it (48736)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

#5441991
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11425) - you deserved it (76718)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you deserved it (39347)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML

#5288482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35955) - you deserved it (19612)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (4200)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML

#5221967
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39244) - you deserved it (2206)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:12am - work - by ofcourse (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45701) - you deserved it (4308)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

#4957088
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41681) - you deserved it (9785)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47379) - you deserved it (6362)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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