Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

InnocentMalice

Search for a member

InnocentMalice

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 355
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About InnocentMalice : I'm a shy geek that enjoy reading books and play games. I really enjoy horror movies and sci-fi. I would love to have a chat with anyone nice.

Been away for a while, sorry.

InnocentMalice's page activity

Visits<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:50pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 6:22am<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 7:20am<b>Peeves</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:41pm<b>thepurplewalrus</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:56pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:02am<b>rookie3311</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:53am<b>Bretzelife</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:06pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:04pm<b>moses1993</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:00am<b>midgetism</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:01pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:36am<b>DeathScythe24</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:41pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:06pm<b>johnfolk</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 7:27pm<b>Joe_Valdez25</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:17am<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 6:48pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:35pm

Liked!<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:51am

InnocentMalice's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of InnocentMalice's badges

InnocentMalice's favorite FMLs

Today, My Son Was Playing The Sims,hen I Saw Him Remove The Door To A Room And Set It On Fire With A Sim Trapped Inside. I Chuckled At First, Until I Saw That The Sim Was Me. Meanwhile, My Wife's Sim Was Happily Painting In The Next Room, Not Giving A Crap. All Too Accurate, Sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46254) - you deserved it (4971)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I watchd mah father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He trid to play it cool, said, "Haircuts r too expensive these days anyway." and walkd out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. big fat FML

yesterday mah class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of mah life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45010) - you deserved it (3483)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Yesterday... my usband lerened tat if e asks me a questionile I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be ( Yes ). Incidentally... I now ave a new cat. FML

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me 4 not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everythinghich turns me off.

#20879249
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53059) - you deserved it (6181)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today... The Great Deal On Mah New Apartment Has Turned Into A Nightmare. I Keep Hereing Extremely Werd Sounds Almost Every Night... And When I Tried Taking Pics Of The Place Today... Mah Camera's Face Recognition Feature Kept Activating... But Only In Mah Bedroom. I'm Scared Shitless. FML

#20796032
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60482) - you deserved it (4397)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and loosing some wieght. As I did so, I unknowingly reachd 4 a giant bag of chips and ate thehole thing. Now, I have stoppd daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressd. And I'm all out of chips. FML

#19990099
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9668) - you deserved it (24853)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Yastarday, I broka my lag whila trying to show looool my friand how I broka my othar lag. FML

#17342308
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22348) - you deserved it (67365)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Todayhile My Grlfriend And I Were Getting It On , She Suddenly Stopped And Yelled ( STOP! ). I Stopped , Scared I'd Hurt Her. She Then Yelled ( HAMMER TIME! ) And Started To Dance. We Never Finished. FML

#5286193
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28619) - you deserved it (5088)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said ( I can feel yur heartbeat on my dick. ) FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21939) - you deserved it (4368)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today , My Grandma Went To Get Birthday Gifts 4 My Twin Sister An Me. She Returned With 2 Shirt That Read "I See You've Met The Twins" In Big Letter Acros The Chest. She Gave Them To Us An Said , "Isn't This Cute? 'cause You're Twins!" I Then Had To Explain To Her What The Shirt Was Actually Referring To. FML

#4530948
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47422) - you deserved it (3804)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriendho I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around lyk they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old childho was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77646) - you deserved it (8609)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, Mah Cat Was In The Bathroom With Me. I Was Getting Undressd To Get Into The Shower. My Cat Lookd At Me After I'd Undressd And Then Threw Up All Over The Rug. FML

#287682
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136184) - you deserved it (20311)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: