About Immortal_Toaster : Ayy lmao
Immortal_Toaster's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Immortal_Toaster's favorite FMLs
by debiebs / 12/29/2015 at 7:04am / Brazil (Bahia) / Love
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by VHBJ / 09/14/2015 at 1:54pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by desbuhbear / 08/27/2015 at 1:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by ealovan / 08/24/2015 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Money
by Anonymous / 04/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by nothesisforme / 03/11/2015 at 10:01am / France / Work
Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML
by miewann / 03/03/2015 at 2:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML
by innocent / 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…