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ImTheAlpha

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ImTheAlpha

14Fucked!

ImTheAlphaImTheAlpha
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9718
  • Number of comments : 620
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About ImTheAlpha : 1 l1k3 5h339 4nd 57uff 🐑. I am fabulous. Likes Industrial, Punk, and Goth fashion and music. Doesn't understand the elitist attitude, though. Likes (and hates) politics (seriously some things are just basic human decencyyyyyy and stahp with the religious excuuuuuse). Likes anime. And Twitch Plays Pokemon. And Homestuck for some reason. Combat Boots are love. Cyberpunk is life. Has a deviantart account and is scarred for life by what has been found there. Will occasionally refer to oneself as oneself and use archaic words. My mom never taught me which words are still in use. Is an asthmatic hallucinating biohazard. message me if you wanna talk, I don't bite people I don't know. I'm so booooorrrreeeeeddd notice me senpai I HAVE SUCCEEDED AT GETTING MODERATED look at all the profile pictures! :33 I congratulate those who get this far but seriously you just wasted a bit of your life on this and you're still reading.

ImTheAlpha's page activity

Visits<b>Akazuki</b> - yesterday at 12:07pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:11pm<b>lfrider92</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:40pm<b>blueguy135</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 12:46pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 8:11pm<b>Enkeria</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Aseemdawg</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:51pm<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:44am<b>Zyssii</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:03am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:17am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:09pm<b>Pinkiss</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 1:18pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:17pm<b>stangluv</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 4:49pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:03am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:13pm

Fucked!<b>blueguy135</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:38am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Animeisbaetho</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:21pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:12am<b>deathgrips</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:15am<b>khoov19</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 9:48am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:56pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:04am<b>poncho55</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:44pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:56am<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:50pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:42am<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:29am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:13am

ImTheAlpha's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of ImTheAlpha's badges

ImTheAlpha's favorite FMLs

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19239) - you deserved it (9123)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (3335)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24141) - you deserved it (2680)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML

#21443019
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22039) - you deserved it (8732)

On 07/17/2015 at 12:40pm - money - by raquel (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML

#21432440
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24586) - you deserved it (1506)

On 06/26/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (3698)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

#21407700
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (4530)

On 05/10/2015 at 9:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

#21386402
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (4155)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:20am - misc - by Repethetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (3036)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (2170)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

#21372077
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28482) - you deserved it (3150)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:19pm - misc - by Daughter of the year - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78) - you deserved it (184)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia



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