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Ilovepancakes333's favorite FMLs
Today, I was hit with a sudden onset of diarrhea and had to use the washroom on the train. As soon as I pulled down my pants, my worst nightmare came true, as someone opened the door and exposed me to the other passengers. FML
by Bebbo / 09/19/2014 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health
by hypercrite dad / 09/19/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2014 at 12:06pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Love
Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Meowit / 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Bella0304 / 09/06/2014 at 2:02pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML
by almost governmental / 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Work
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Miscellaneous
by apparentlybutch / 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
by Perdito_Coño / 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Holidays
by anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…