Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 August 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1155
  • Number of comments : 336
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Il_Maestro : Hello there. I am just a figment of your imagination. I'm that fun little voice that tells your conscience to shut the fuck up and let you have fun. And then I'm the one who laughs at you when you wake up the next morning half naked in jail spooning with a guy named Cupcake.

And I believe Anti-flood Protection is the worst thing to ever happen to this world.

Il_Maestro's page activity

Visits<b>swampbaby985</b> - 15 hours ago<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:47pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:47pm<b>Pyronia</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:41pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:52pm<b>LissaLovesCastle</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:31pm<b>sythe511</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 6:53pm<b>Fyrepower</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 4:02pm<b>blueawesomeness</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:22am<b>usernameplz</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 2:16pm<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:26pm<b>rushabh97</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:43pm<b>Pr0fess0rWhat</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:39am<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 11:53am<b>futureot1</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 9:31pm<b>DalekWarrior26</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:17pm<b>fantasy01</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:58pm<b>tiggerlover100</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 9:16pm

Fucked!<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:48pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:52am<b>Pr0fess0rWhat</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:40am

Il_Maestro's FML badges


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Il_Maestro's badges

Il_Maestro's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68179) - you deserved it (28216)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (258309) - you deserved it (88111)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: