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IceCreamMage

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IceCreamMage
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 February 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1615
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About IceCreamMage : Often times people message me asking me who I am and if I want to meet up for drinks in some random, dodgy place.

I'll be stating now that I won't meet you if your only intent is killing me and desecrating my corpse in some gutter under a bridge.

On the other hand, I'm twenty two and working full time as a website designer. I'm in a relationship with an amazing girl and have never been happier.

My music tastes are a bit icky to most, enjoying a variety of things from heavy metal to techno music and various indie bands.

That's about all, folks!

IceCreamMage's last visitors

LadyQuantum7Gingerness23smallzz993ToriaButtcheekg9m9brownbrooke_lalaine_briiannabeatlesgirl2u2CaptMurdockvegaskedsarah_bear14

IceCreamMage's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of IceCreamMage's badges

IceCreamMage's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36452) - you deserved it (7005)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42543) - you deserved it (3723)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35716) - you deserved it (6805)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (38389)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19388) - you deserved it (48003)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42318) - you deserved it (5357)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43197) - you deserved it (3445)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

#21111038
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44075) - you deserved it (3040)

On 04/12/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by gullible (man) - United States

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60165) - you deserved it (29143)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35361) - you deserved it (5333)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40982) - you deserved it (3839)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37637) - you deserved it (5011)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42724) - you deserved it (7586)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

#21049461
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41078) - you deserved it (5318)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (7452)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)



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