Iamnotmyself

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Offline (the 11/25/2014 at 4:25am)

Iamnotmyself

15Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7368
  • Number of comments : 690
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Iamnotmyself : I shall become a God, I was one before, I shall be reborn anew.

Ari Arias

Iamnotmyself's page activity

Visits<b>ebroks</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 9:37am<b>julako</b> - the 11/10/2016 at 8:01pm<b>egnur_mas</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 8:00am<b>Dragonstorm786</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 7:21pm<b>claudiajean</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 11:21pm<b>stereotypicalme</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 1:58pm<b>AmericanBadAss</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 8:44am<b>Maxwellminpin</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 11:55pm<b>vaxc</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 12:15am<b>Dide9872</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 10:28am<b>nesteremily</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 3:44am<b>guskta</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 5:39am<b>BoneCollector</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 4:40pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 6:14pm<b>player20270</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 9:01am<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 4:58am<b>holly_fly</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 10:29pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:55am

Fucked!<b>Dragonstorm786</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 10:24am<b>Crazion</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:16pm<b>Scorpio1691</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 4:00pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 12:04am<b>sleepyfires</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:42pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:49am<b>SuperVertigo</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 2:22am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:42am<b>apineapple</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:35pm<b>Sccrstud2</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:30am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:44am<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 8:27pm<b>Krazybloo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:39am<b>lovefrog</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:14pm

Iamnotmyself's FML badges

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50 quality responses

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Iamnotmyself's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

by ThisBlows / 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my parents' divorce was finalized, and my mother decided to publicly celebrate with a bikini wax. She calls it her "Declaration of Independence". FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my parents' divorce was finalized, and my mother decided to publicly celebrate with a bikini wax. She calls it her "Declaration of Independence". FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

by acnebutt / 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

by blah / 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

by Username / 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm / United States / Work

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Work