About ILoveAuntMary420 : I'm just a kid from New Orleans that loves to get high and chill with my friends, and just because I smoke it doesn't I'm a bum. It means I just like having fun.
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ILoveAuntMary420's favorite FMLs
Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML
by fuck / 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by a man / 07/13/2013 at 9:20am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML
by Festivaler / 07/13/2013 at 3:14am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anna / 07/13/2013 at 12:40am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML
by Stacy / 07/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States / Love
Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML
by Suomynona / 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm / Germany (Hamburg) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm / United States / Love
by ouch / 07/12/2013 at 3:22am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML
by thanks, Nemo. / 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by yayme. / 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by fucked up dad / 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
by whowhat / 07/11/2013 at 2:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up… Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I… Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited,…