About IHeartBlueJay : I'm a student working toward a degree in business management, and the owner of a small custom t-shirt shop. I have two bearded dragons that I absolutely adore, and I love art, movies, motorcycles, tattoos, and heavy metal!
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IHeartBlueJay's favorite FMLs
by littleteapot / 09/04/2014 at 10:47pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML
by BaggedDown / 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals
by those_allergies / 05/12/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2013 at 11:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by IHeartBlueJay / 02/08/2013 at 12:31am / United States / Health
by kidswithnomanners / 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML
by Jenna / 06/29/2011 at 8:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/05/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (New York) / Health
by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,…