Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 10/13/2014 at 3:27pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1218
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About IAmNotAnAnimal : 'Tis but a scratch!

IAmNotAnAnimal's page activity

Visits<b>Roxy4102</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:41pm<b>Burgerito</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:16pm<b>Azurexorcist</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:43pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:38pm<b>shitidied</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 7:22pm<b>What2D0</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:41pm<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:27pm<b>japcrap</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:32pm<b>cj75</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 6:42am<b>khalek</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:32am<b>adamant84</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:49pm<b>steftriv</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:17am<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:42pm<b>feven</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:42pm<b>andthisispatches</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:05pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:40am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:32pm<b>marydrunasky23</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:57pm

Fucked!<b>Azurexorcist</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:43pm<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 5:27am

IAmNotAnAnimal's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of IAmNotAnAnimal's badges

IAmNotAnAnimal's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47075) - you deserved it (5330)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32204) - you deserved it (1988)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (3256)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML


I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (2445)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29702) - you deserved it (6332)

On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51032) - you deserved it (7732)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41060) - you deserved it (5991)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML


I agree, your life sucks (16347) - you deserved it (38376)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (52801)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML


I agree, your life sucks (72905) - you deserved it (7061)

On 10/26/2008 at 10:34pm - love - by alf - Sent from mobile version

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: