HouseElf

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HouseElf

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2796
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HouseElf : Tired of cleaning up after people~


Message me by owl.

HouseElf's page activity

Visits<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 5:13pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:24pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:03pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:46pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 9:03am<b>Dodgerohiofan</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 9:27pm<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:28pm<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:22pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:38pm<b>SirAnon</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:13am<b>varutha</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:17am<b>meowkittypebis</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:13pm<b>samstien</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:26am<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:03pm<b>toshtits</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:08am<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Celestial_Dreams</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:05pm

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:03am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:38pm

HouseElf's FML badges

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HouseElf's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:13pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved back home after unsuccessfully trying to find work in Florida, despite living there for nine months. About 45 minutes into my 18-hour drive home, a TV station called me to offer me a job interview. I applied for that job over three months ago. FML

by deweyd8855 / 07/02/2012 at 10:22pm / United States / Work

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

by babyeaternomnom / 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2012 at 5:45am / Intimacy

Today, an attractive guy asked me to get coffee with him. My response was, "I don't drink coffee." I just turned down the first guy that's asked me out in 3 months. FML

by sierra / 06/28/2012 at 5:55pm / United States / Love

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

by Vitriol / 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm / France / Love

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, at the office, everyone in my department swapped secret santa presents. I bought the guy whose name I picked a DVD box-set of his favorite TV series. One of my friends got a fancy make up kit. Another got a pack of posh notebooks. I got a toilet plunger. FML

by hozzyandie / 12/14/2010 at 1:02pm / Ireland (Cork) / Work

Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML

by onebadwave / 08/21/2009 at 3:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

by fattie4life / 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous