HouseElf

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HouseElf

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2518
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HouseElf : Tired of cleaning up after people~


Message me by owl.

HouseElf's page activity

Visits<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 5:13pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:24pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 8:06pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:03pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:46pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 9:03am<b>Dodgerohiofan</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 9:27pm<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:28pm<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:22pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:38pm<b>SirAnon</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:13am<b>varutha</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:17am<b>meowkittypebis</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:13pm<b>samstien</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:26am<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:03pm<b>toshtits</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:08am<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Celestial_Dreams</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:15pm

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:03am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:38pm

HouseElf's FML badges

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HouseElf's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Love

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

by really mature, GRAN / 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

by depressedpreggo / 11/18/2012 at 6:00am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

by new name / 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

by cowgirl / 11/06/2012 at 12:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

by i fking love docb / 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm / Virgin Islands, U.S. / Love

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

by spiderwoman / 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Animals

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore an expensive vintage blazer which I'd purchased at a market in Paris. Turns out my colleague has the exact same one, only hers is from a clearance rack at Target. FML

by arh / 08/27/2012 at 8:10pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

by JAdams / 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

by Joe Lizen / 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous