HouseElf

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HouseElf

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2681
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HouseElf : Tired of cleaning up after people~


Message me by owl.

HouseElf's page activity

Visits<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 5:13pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:24pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:03pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:46pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 9:03am<b>Dodgerohiofan</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 9:27pm<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:28pm<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:22pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:38pm<b>SirAnon</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:13am<b>varutha</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:17am<b>meowkittypebis</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:13pm<b>samstien</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:26am<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:03pm<b>toshtits</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:08am<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Celestial_Dreams</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:05pm

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:03am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:38pm

HouseElf's FML badges

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HouseElf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

by confused / 04/07/2013 at 10:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

by dumb tourists / 03/31/2013 at 2:19am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2013 at 7:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 1:31pm / Sweden (Blekinge Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

by ipaid350dollarsfornothing / 03/15/2013 at 3:09am / Qatar / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall / 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Love

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

by Maxie / 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom (Ards) / Health

Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd tried to keep it secret from everyone at work, so they wouldn't tell my boss, as I can't afford to get on his bad side yet. My mom posted on my Facebook wall, wishing me luck. I'm Facebook friends with most of my colleagues. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 4:06pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

by Neversleepingthereagain / 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous