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HortonThelephant

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HortonThelephant
  • Town/Country : Fort Chronic, Colorado, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 November 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 955
  • Number of comments : 284
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HortonThelephant : "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy. Its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill.

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HortonThelephant's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulling a car out of the shop where I work, when I tried to go over a small snow bank to park it. What I didn't realize was the snow had turned into solid ice, and it broke the front bumper cover. It's going to cost $1000 to fix it and I also had to call the owner. FML

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

#6283375
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27716) - you deserved it (2811)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a bee flew in my car so I swerved off the road and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice I fled the scene. Later my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML

#6255254
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4122) - you deserved it (28562)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by Sybil90 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

#5223643
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10909) - you deserved it (38458)

On 09/13/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69223) - you deserved it (5945)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130382) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20486) - you deserved it (2310)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

#437
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38564) - you deserved it (5627)

On 12/02/2008 at 3:27am - intimacy - by hell! - Sent from mobile version

Today, I should have given my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by and now I'm on my own. FML

#360
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (2953)

On 11/21/2008 at 11:42pm - work - by christous - Sent from mobile version



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