About Horsempeg : Hi, I am a pretty down to earth girl. I like to have fun and get dirty while doing so. My dog and cat mean the world to me. Anything else you feel the need to know, just ask.
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Horsempeg's favorite FMLs
Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 7:56am / United States / Animals
by me:( / 07/16/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by lilly1105 / 07/15/2013 at 9:19am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML
by ugh / 07/15/2013 at 7:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Upset Mommy / 07/14/2013 at 12:32am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 12:13am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML
by Stacy / 07/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States / Love
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Health
by ouch / 07/12/2013 at 3:22am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation
Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML
by thanks, Nemo. / 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by fucked up dad / 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
- Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work.… Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was… Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…