Horde

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Horde

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 October 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 54861
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Horde : It's Hammer Time!

Horde's page activity

Visits<b>jerry08157</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 7:51am<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 11:40pm<b>TheRealStunts</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 7:09am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:28pm<b>evilbarron</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 5:55pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 11:43am<b>Kielnmsoftly</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:36pm<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 6:04pm<b>FelicityWishes</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:23am<b>uglykitty</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:37am<b>Karlsmarx2</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 6:48am<b>Sharkthedark</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:42pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:17pm<b>Nagi</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 5:42am<b>TasteyChickenz</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 9:18pm<b>bangbang99</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 2:19am<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Nail7777</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 12:10am

Fucked!<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:47pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:46pm

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Horde's favorite FMLs

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

by phoenix101 / 05/16/2011 at 1:40am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML

by dammitvasquez / 05/12/2011 at 7:34pm / Canada / Love

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

by Jackassed / 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

by Burnt / 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML

by AE86Turbo / 05/03/2011 at 1:22am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was crying. I thought I would be a good Samaritan and see if he was okay. After 15 minutes of hearing about how much his life sucked, he mugged me. FML

by kimftwxox / 05/02/2011 at 10:24pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

by teinage / 05/02/2011 at 2:47pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Transportation

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

by suckishbf / 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

by disfunctionalfamily / 04/27/2011 at 3:03pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

by c.m.g. / 04/27/2011 at 6:50am / Health