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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3796
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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HopelesslyHpfl's page activity

Visits<b>walker9879</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:53pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 2:03am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:04am<b>CurtisGirl</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 6:00pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 9:15pm<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:29am<b>alice_18</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:54am<b>blcusername</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:57pm<b>swick25</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 11:13pm<b>twenty</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 6:09pm<b>sohippiechic</b> - the 04/17/2009 at 2:17pm<b>emptyword</b> - the 04/04/2009 at 12:32am<b>ciaomiranda</b> - the 03/28/2009 at 8:54pm<b>Face_loser</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 1:15pm<b>splat</b> - the 03/12/2009 at 5:58pm

HopelesslyHpfl's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

HopelesslyHpfl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

by astroloser / 03/07/2009 at 11:10am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML

by cane / 03/05/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy