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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
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HopelesslyCiara5's favorite FMLs
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
by mackmackey / 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
by jessinono / 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Jololol / 05/17/2013 at 5:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by random / 05/13/2013 at 11:06am / United States / Animals
Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
by wrongguy / 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML
by brokedad / 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML
by iLikeMyLegs / 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
by rachelllynne / 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
by oops / 05/08/2013 at 10:44am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
by blondie107 / 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook… Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the… Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he…