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HopelesslyCiara5's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 4:04am / Australia / Health
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML
by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by me / 11/20/2013 at 10:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by BioChickthcfy / 11/13/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 10:23am / United States / Kids
by nofriends / 10/19/2013 at 5:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML
by hungry / 10/13/2013 at 1:23am / United States / Money
Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML
by markerThief / 10/13/2013 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/19/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML
by Sua / 09/19/2013 at 2:15am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by TheRoad42 / 08/20/2013 at 8:54am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…