HomeAl0ne

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Offline (the 03/05/2014 at 11:12pm)

HomeAl0ne

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 19693
  • Number of comments : 1126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....

OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?

Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.

If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.

HomeAl0ne's page activity

Visits<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 3:13pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 9:02pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 4:08am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:34am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 7:05pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:57am<b>BobbyTheBilly</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:40pm<b>MyWierdCat</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:21pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:08pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:15am<b>Koios</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:23pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:02am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:26pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:32pm<b>aredvulpix</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:31pm<b>LoganGillease</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:52pm

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 4:34pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:54pm

HomeAl0ne's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of HomeAl0ne's badges

HomeAl0ne's favorite FMLs

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

by FromNL / 03/25/2011 at 8:22am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2011 at 7:50am / United States / Work

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

by anti-drugs / 03/21/2011 at 6:57am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

by iAMloud / 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm / United States / Health

Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML

by emm / 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

by B-rent / 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm / United States / Work

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

by Username / 03/12/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

by ouch / 03/08/2011 at 10:50am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

by fourfootnine / 03/07/2011 at 8:47am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

by panda / 03/03/2011 at 6:20am / Animals

Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML

by Acesup111 / 03/02/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous