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Offline (the 03/05/2014 at 11:12pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20859
  • Number of comments : 1126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....

OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?

Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.

If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.

HomeAl0ne's page activity

Visits<b>KhaiQ</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 5:40pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 3:13pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 9:02pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 4:08am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:34am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 7:05pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:57am<b>BobbyTheBilly</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:40pm<b>MyWierdCat</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:21pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:08pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:15am<b>Koios</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:23pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:02am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:26pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:32pm<b>aredvulpix</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:31pm

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 4:34pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:54pm

HomeAl0ne's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of HomeAl0ne's badges

HomeAl0ne's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

by bham boy / 04/20/2011 at 4:10am / Work

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

by ::Tracy:: / 04/17/2011 at 5:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

by bbedlock / 04/16/2011 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

by ILiveWithMorons / 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

by Numb / 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

by 2classicNot2 / 04/09/2011 at 3:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

by ridella / 04/08/2011 at 6:35am / Health

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. We're currently sharing a room on a cruise ship. FML

by gRRRrr / 04/01/2011 at 1:35pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, on my 21st birthday, a relative asked me if I was still engaged to the love of my life. The man I spent several years with, gave my virginity to, moved across the country for, who promised to marry me before my 21st, and who swore he was over his ex for good. No, but thanks for asking. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2011 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

by JJMan217 / 03/29/2011 at 2:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm / Macedonia (Struga) / Animals

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

by upliftmofo / 03/28/2011 at 1:56am / Belgium / Animals

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous