HomeAl0ne

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Offline (the 03/05/2014 at 11:12pm)

HomeAl0ne

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21355
  • Number of comments : 1126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....

OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?

Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.

If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.

HomeAl0ne's page activity

Visits<b>KhaiQ</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 5:40pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 3:13pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 9:02pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 4:08am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:34am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 7:05pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:57am<b>BobbyTheBilly</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:40pm<b>MyWierdCat</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:21pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:08pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:15am<b>Koios</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:23pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:02am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:26pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:32pm<b>aredvulpix</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:31pm

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 4:34pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:54pm

HomeAl0ne's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of HomeAl0ne's badges

HomeAl0ne's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

by Anonyme / 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

by grant b / 06/09/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

by Whoops / 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

by Jakub89 / 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

by mrsekko / 05/31/2011 at 8:44am / United States / Health

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

by CAchickadee / 05/29/2011 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

by redhanded / 05/28/2011 at 5:24am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

by diddlebuag / 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

by Brilliant... / 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

by anonymous / 05/25/2011 at 10:33am / Singapore / Transportation

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

by severedface / 05/22/2011 at 1:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML

by SophieGray / 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

by yobruh / 05/17/2011 at 12:54am / Kids

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous