HomeAl0ne

Search for a member

Offline (the 03/05/2014 at 11:12pm)

HomeAl0ne

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20256
  • Number of comments : 1126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About HomeAl0ne : Ahhah! Caught you peeking. Don't pretend you were just vacuuming naked and slipped and accidentally clicked on my nickname.....

OK, so what do you want to know, hmmm?

Yes, I'm really 52. Yes, I understand that seems improbable. Yes, I understand that the interwebs is for young people and that this makes me a creeper. Yes, I understand that I certainly shouldn't be using smiley faces and 'lol'. Yes, I understand that I must be lying about this, because otherwise you'd believe me.

If you'd like to find out anything else, or just drop by for a yarn, send me a PM.

HomeAl0ne's page activity

Visits<b>KhaiQ</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 5:40pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 3:13pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 9:02pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 4:08am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:34am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 7:05pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:57am<b>BobbyTheBilly</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:40pm<b>MyWierdCat</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:21pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:08pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:15am<b>Koios</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:23pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:02am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:26pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:32pm<b>aredvulpix</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:31pm

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 4:34pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:54pm

HomeAl0ne's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of HomeAl0ne's badges

HomeAl0ne's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 8:38am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I told my husband that I wanted him to stay sober during the week. He responded by saying he wanted me to be a supermodel during the week. FML

by brinn / 09/16/2011 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

by ppp / 09/14/2011 at 12:12am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

by anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

by charliemann_ / 09/12/2011 at 10:28am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

by 5.9Cummins / 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

by Hailey Antone / 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

by wheezy / 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

by thefrightening1 / 09/05/2011 at 11:03am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

by Pool-less / 09/04/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 1:41am / United States / Love