Holybatman

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Offline (the 06/28/2016 at 8:03pm)

Holybatman

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 25911
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Holybatman's page activity

Visits<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - 21 hours ago<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:48am<b>superwhovian</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:01pm<b>misjell94</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:08am<b>KrustyKrab</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:49am<b>Tsula1994</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 5:33pm<b>oathkeeper99</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:09am<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:15am<b>pubeboy</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:41pm<b>jordaandanielle</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:20pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:18pm<b>jentrynicole</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 12:48pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:26am<b>stryggzy</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:06am<b>Atowns40</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 9:01am<b>Zenithbeauty</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:47am<b>hollandchris0822</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:35pm<b>zehtinyapple</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:42pm

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:26pm<b>Zenithbeauty</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:47am

Holybatman's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Holybatman's badges

Holybatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 11:47am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

by rani / 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

by I Like My Cat / 12/21/2012 at 5:02am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

by alicia / 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

by Cold / 12/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love

Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML

by Alice / 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy