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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Hitsuji's favorite FMLs
by idk ask freud / 07/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by confusedbagel / 06/27/2013 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML
by pianoplayer / 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
by Anonymous / 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML
by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by lonely girl / 03/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love
Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 1:06am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Vermont) / Animals
Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML
by Neversleepingthereagain / 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was in the middle of watching this awesome show on Hulu. I was halfway through the season… Today, I bought a non-refundable $200 plane ticket to Ohio to be with my girlfriend who moved there… Today, my best friend, who just got his drivers license, convinced me to take my dads brand new car…