HitchHiker42

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/21/2014 at 4:24am)

HitchHiker42

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1822
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About HitchHiker42 : I'm a relentlessly optimistic high school sophomore that loves to laugh at the misfortune of not only others, but myself as well. Singing, running, and socializing are fun.

HitchHiker42's page activity

Visits<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 11:38am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 7:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:51pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:42pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:34am<b>TheJap</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 2:07pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 8:19am<b>sugarbooboo63</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 10:56pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 10:09pm<b>Cescaoy</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 8:21am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:31pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 7:44pm<b>jujuroxursox</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 12:27am<b>IowaCowgirl</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 11:11pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 5:56pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 3:46pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 10:53pm

Fucked!<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 5:39pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 1:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:51pm

HitchHiker42's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of HitchHiker42's badges

HitchHiker42's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

by confused / 04/07/2013 at 10:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

by nopanties / 03/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

by teacher / 01/25/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

by Job Seeking / 01/22/2013 at 6:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

by georgiamarshall_ / 01/09/2013 at 5:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health