About HitTheRoadJacK3 : The answer is always world peace, if not, try Jesus.
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HitTheRoadJacK3's favorite FMLs
Today, I didn't have the courage to tell the guy who likes me that I only thought of him as a friend, so I asked my best friend to do it for me. It turns out that her way of doing this is telling him to "fuck off" and then punching him in the face. FML
by ShouldHaveDoneItMyself / 07/05/2016 at 1:04pm / Sudan / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/24/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/05/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML
by Peepants / 03/03/2016 at 6:03pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I donated a dollar to a kids charity at Lowe's. The cashier handed me a star to sign my name, I signed it and gave it back to her. She looked at me with disgust and asked what was wrong with me. I had to pull out my license to prove to her that my name is really Michael Myers. FML
by M1CHA3L_MY3RZ / 03/01/2016 at 8:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after having my husband ask if I 'had any plans' for the weekend, and him mentioning that he got me something special, he played his PS4 for hours, ignored me, then finally took a break to hand me a tiny box of chocolates. I can't even be mad because he looked so proud. FML
by marriedbutlonely / 02/14/2016 at 9:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by koolkat9 / 12/22/2014 at 2:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
by embarrassed / 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by yus / 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML
by Bartender / 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by how about never? / 10/19/2014 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML
by roidrager / 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by datgurllllukno / 10/15/2014 at 2:26am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…