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His_Holiness

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His_Holiness
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1003
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About His_Holiness : All hail my holy balls

Give me your sons as payment for me being the voice of God

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His_Holiness's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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His_Holiness's favorite FMLs

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94195) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (9142)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

#13817966
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (6383)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

#13641335
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23024) - you deserved it (5798)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

#13495901
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21551) - you deserved it (2720)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:56am - misc - by fmmlll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47429) - you deserved it (3269)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got grounded because I have a picture on facebook in which I'm touching the crotch of a cardboard cut-out of Obama. My parents insist the FBI will see that and I'll end up in jail. My parents are crazy. FML

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

#12694516
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30034) - you deserved it (20369)

On 08/23/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by diesel444 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36085) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36085) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15283) - you deserved it (44848)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

#10842466
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23509) - you deserved it (8089)

On 05/29/2010 at 2:20pm - health - by asstomouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42433) - you deserved it (7704)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10364) - you deserved it (22796)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML

#7743505
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5646) - you deserved it (22374)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)



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