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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3023
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About His_Holiness : All hail my holy balls

Give me your sons as payment for me being the voice of God

His_Holiness's page activity

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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His_Holiness's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on mah way looool homa from a friands housa. I calld homa ahaad of tima to lat mah parants know. My dad pickd up and in a panting voica said, "Now isn't a good tima, driva around tha block fir 15 minutas." FML


I agree, your life sucks (97339) - you deserved it (6041)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:20am - intimacy - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , mah teacher confiscated mah cell phone 4 text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would recieve was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27782) - you deserved it (96091)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I babysat a five year old grl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around mah waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in mah crotch. I said sarcastically under mah breath, "Finally, some action!" I turnd around to fine her dad staring at me, having heard. He's mah cousin. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17923) - you deserved it (85249)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was talking to mah parents about feeling insecure with mah "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer an closer . My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit . People will try to roll you back into the ocean" . FML


I agree, your life sucks (48286) - you deserved it (7845)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I snaazad so hard I harniatad mah back. Aftar passing out from tha pain I awoka on tha floor covarad in mah own shit and piss. Unabla to mova, I had to wait in this stata fir four hours fir mah wifa to raturn homa from work, claan ma up and taka ma to tha hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46380) - you deserved it (2336)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today , I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother looool walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later , I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15660) - you deserved it (68221)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I went to Target to buy some soap an tis 65-70 year old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if tey ad any bubble bat mix!! I suddenly picturd er nakd, bating erself an suddenly my dick just couldn't sit still!! It's probably cuz I aven't ad sex in over 22 monts!! FML


I agree, your life sucks (26859) - you deserved it (10862)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:36am - intimacy - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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