Hikarishimizu

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Offline (the 11/15/2014 at 8:28am)

Hikarishimizu

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26039
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About Hikarishimizu : I'm 14. Life sucks at this age. :/

Hikarishimizu's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:59pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 11:06pm<b>dancer824</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 7:49am<b>Akay4</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 6:53am<b>seemetrot</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:11pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 7:27am<b>Kyuzomi</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 6:51am<b>loveisthewah</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 3:06am<b>underguarded</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 2:51am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:43pm<b>MsMourningStar</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 4:35pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:48pm<b>CodingSquirrel</b> - the 12/12/2010 at 3:57pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:59am

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Hikarishimizu's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. / 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

by a very unlucky dude. / 06/18/2014 at 2:37am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2014 at 8:26am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

by yepintheladiesroom / 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

by FMyBrain / 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Health

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

by confusing / 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm / Zimbabwe / Work

Today, my long distance boyfriend told me no more nude pictures or sexting, as he's afraid the government will steal it all. FML

by ShadowReiku / 06/05/2014 at 11:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML

by Apcn / 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals