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Hieroglyph

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Hieroglyph

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1601
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Hieroglyph's page activity

Visits<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Nahpets</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:42pm<b>joejoe1415</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:21pm<b>PrinceOfBritain</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:41pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:31pm<b>Metashock</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:05am<b>aishah77</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:08pm<b>seetei</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:48am<b>fifi125</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:25pm<b>ibelieveican</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:10am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:55am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:37am<b>Scheffy213</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:23am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:19am<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 3:54am<b>bearstyle22</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:22am<b>pris0027</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 6:25pm<b>FmyL6</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:10pm

Hieroglyph's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Hieroglyph's badges

Hieroglyph's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (9811)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (3114)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

#21412638
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (2134)

On 05/19/2015 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32352) - you deserved it (7066)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29371) - you deserved it (4297)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML

#21405555
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28751) - you deserved it (2807)

On 05/06/2015 at 8:50am - love - by anon - United States (Kansas)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (3365)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (4628)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML

#21403711
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (2679)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

#21403035
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19096) - you deserved it (21860)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by RavingLunatic (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

#21402962
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27216) - you deserved it (2198)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29823) - you deserved it (5553)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States



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