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Hieroglyph's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a call from my panicking grandmother. I asked her what was going on, and she explained that, “Godzilla doesn’t work.” Not really understanding, I asked her to clarify. “Yes, you know, Godzilla, to use the internet.” FML
by Grandzilla / 09/09/2016 at 12:10am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Geek
by Gottabekidding / 09/08/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of a bra he claimed I left at his house. I know every single bra I own, and it wasn't one of them, or so I thought. Only after I broke up with him did I remember I lost that bra two months ago. FML
by Anonymous / 09/08/2016 at 11:31am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
by full moon / 09/07/2016 at 10:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by failedparenting / 09/07/2016 at 12:44pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2016 at 10:00am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, it's my birthday and I'd planned to take my family and friends to dinner with my own money. My mom just informed me that she'd messaged everyone that I'd canceled the dinner. She instead wants to use my money to buy my older brother a gun for his birthday, which is in two days. FML
by mckenna9797 / 09/07/2016 at 7:16am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Lonile13 / 09/06/2016 at 11:28pm / Philippines / Intimacy
Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML
by Asshole Parker / 09/06/2016 at 7:01am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by SuperShy / 09/06/2016 at 12:29am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 08/30/2016 at 2:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by tragic / 08/29/2016 at 12:51am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my soon-to-be ex-wife decided she'll be moving into my apartment complex. She always goes out of her way to pick fights with me every chance she gets, has alienated my children from me and has made what should be a very simple divorce into a ridiculously long and contentious one. FML
by stillnotdivorced / 08/26/2016 at 9:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML
by ThankfullyNotKickedOut / 08/26/2016 at 2:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous