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Hellishowl's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love
Today, whilst walking past a large pond-sized puddle, a double decker bus and a van slowed and drove around the puddle so as not to splash me. Thinking luck was on my side, I began walking more confidently, only for a tiny smart car to come hurtling past, causing a huge wave of water to hit me. FML
by Mr. King / 03/16/2016 at 4:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to people around school to make new friends. I met an amazing guy and we really hit it off. He was fantastic in every way, but decided to end our conversation with, "We shall meet in the afterlife!" I don't know if I should be scared or not. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2016 at 11:42pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started a new job as a receptionist at a nursing home. When two men came in saying, "We're here for Mr. Christensen," I paged him to come to the front desk. Apparently, these men had come from the funeral home to pick up Mr. Christensen's body. I was completely unaware that anyone had died. FML
by alex / 03/13/2016 at 3:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I forgot my phone on the roof of my car. I took a 30 minute drive from my friend's city to my city. I got on to my driveway, surprised to see my phone still there. Thinking I'm really lucky, I pick up my phone. Then, I trip over a pebble, cracking my phone in the process. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 7:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML
by ishyboo / 02/27/2016 at 5:59pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by hannieannie / 02/09/2016 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I visited my son at his university accommodations and noticed he's clearly never cleaned it since he moved in two years ago. I tried cleaning it myself, but gave up entirely when I found what looked like mushrooms growing out of an old takeout container. FML
by Pauline / 02/09/2016 at 4:35pm / United States / Kids
by nofriends / 02/09/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by Asian / 02/07/2016 at 2:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by weirdoe / 02/07/2016 at 4:17am / Italy (Sicilia) / Intimacy
by notagoodtime / 02/06/2016 at 3:52pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend lost one of her rings. I found this out as I overheard her gushing to her friend about how I must have borrowed it to find out what her ring size is. I have zero interest whatsoever in the sick and utterly immoral institution of marriage. FML
by ALL PRAISE TO THE NIGHT MOTHER / 01/29/2016 at 4:19pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/11/2016 at 12:21pm / United States (New York) / Love
- Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time.… Today, my boyfriend of three months told me he's going to get tested for STDs, because he's worried… Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the…