HelenKeller1

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HelenKeller1

102Fucked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11567
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 19, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁🏻

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>11InchesLook</b> - 8 hours ago<b>smittywt</b> - yesterday at 6:36am<b>shinyme</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 6:55pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 12:33pm<b>Oliveisthenewora</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 7:55pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 11:27am<b>bigwell</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 7:09am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 10:44pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 6:18pm<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 4:38pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 2:57pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 3:24am<b>gary8082</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 2:50am<b>four0seven</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 2:24am<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 12:26am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 8:39pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 5:48pm<b>dburton</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 3:51pm

Fucked!<b>bigwell</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 1:09pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 8:57pm<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 8:47pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 8:51am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 6:27am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 11:48pm<b>dburton</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 9:51pm<b>Rodgerdodger17</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:31am<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 6:25pm<b>Hyperkeratosin</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 2:10pm<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 2:05am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Emanpirate68</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 7:39pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:32pm<b>davidaloco123</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:06am<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:39pm<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:12am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML

by annonymous / 09/07/2015 at 4:56pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML

by ballthlete / 09/06/2015 at 12:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

by Alice / 08/30/2015 at 8:13am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

by cuckoo / 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

by notwhatithought / 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

by fuck / 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 8:14am / United States (California) / Health

Today, a guy asked me out on Facebook, then called me a conceited bitch when I said no. I don't know, dude; maybe it's just that I already have a boyfriend, that you asked me out on Facebook, and that you posted the same message on 4 other girls' walls as well. FML

by sonice / 08/17/2015 at 11:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2015 at 4:33am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

by maybe if i was paid like them i would / 08/14/2015 at 6:42pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

by Why Me / 08/12/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML

by Frozen Food Fan / 08/11/2015 at 10:29am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML

by Mrs. W. / 08/10/2015 at 8:32pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML

by that girl has a beard / 08/04/2015 at 3:33am / Canada / Love