Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HelenKeller1

Offline (51 minutes ago) | Search for a member

HelenKeller1

62Fucked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8612
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁 I'm a busy person but I try to answer messages, so ask me anything 😊

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>javankipp</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Mons</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Shayn_25</b> - yesterday at 9:26am<b>am1717</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 3:39am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:28am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:32am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:16pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:13am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:47pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:34am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:14am<b>spursfan101</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:24pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:07pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:00am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 6:11am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 6:01pm<b>Linemanmike</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:15am<b>johny93</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:44pm

Fucked!<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 8:52pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:47am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:26pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:28pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:03pm<b>johny93</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 3:15am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:00am<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 6:06am<b>dbyrne20</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:43am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:55am<b>chandler88</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:38pm<b>ardenxo</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 6:35am<b>youngmessi252525</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:11am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 9:33pm<b>Linemanmike</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 12:00am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:58pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 6:25am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:29am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20956) - you deserved it (36235)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43000) - you deserved it (2417)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

#21353961
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36646) - you deserved it (3522)

On 02/11/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by TJFuentes (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

#21353290
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31028) - you deserved it (19688)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

#21352870
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (10290)

On 02/09/2015 at 5:58pm - work - by tirf -

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46318) - you deserved it (3500)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

#21351065
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29179) - you deserved it (3108)

On 02/06/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by barf (woman) - Ireland

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

#21348664
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15988) - you deserved it (42901)

On 02/02/2015 at 10:14pm - health - by toe - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML

#21347237
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27031) - you deserved it (11406)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:13am - kids - by cooploops - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36030) - you deserved it (2468)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34616) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33079) - you deserved it (4630)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my professor was doing roll-call. As usual, she didn't say my name because it's so close to the person before me. So to differentiate, she decided she would call the girl before me "the pretty one". FML

#21341880
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32608) - you deserved it (2437)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by The Ugly One - United States

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said "I know." FML

#21341633
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35377) - you deserved it (11056)

On 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by cuckolddreams - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

#21335310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (3579)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: