Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8186
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>JMCJester69</b> - 6 hours ago<b>stuckintime</b> - 24 hours ago<b>chr1sF</b> - yesterday at 11:28pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - yesterday at 5:02pm<b>pred8885</b> - yesterday at 8:24am<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 2:08am<b>dakota133</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 11:33pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:51am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:44am<b>Mons</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:22am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 8:51pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:09pm<b>jesusalejndr</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 2:54pm<b>braver7315</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Contiinuous</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 11:20pm<b>Linemanmike</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 12:58pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 4:27am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 11:57pm

Fucked!<b>JMCJester69</b> - 26 minutes ago<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 3:05pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:23am<b>Contiinuous</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 3:17pm<b>themoose12</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:25pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 12:45pm<b>dakota133</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 12:20am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 11:03pm<b>oobergoober89</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:31pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:22am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:23pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:11pm<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:00am<b>Martermelon</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:41am<b>demonte_jones</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:49am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:55pm<b>TheDog6</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:18am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (2247)

On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34544) - you deserved it (6088)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50462) - you deserved it (3867)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11869) - you deserved it (43358)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by fluke - United States (Florida)

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML


I agree, your life sucks (51582) - you deserved it (6094)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38171) - you deserved it (7615)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13503) - you deserved it (56556)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (6145)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10386) - you deserved it (101800) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by santa_maria - Reunion

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (54826)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45062) - you deserved it (3139)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17978) - you deserved it (21700)

On 08/15/2011 at 4:15am - misc - by Michelle - United States (Oregon)

Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40166) - you deserved it (2986)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by theultimatesalonfail - United States

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38741) - you deserved it (5701)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by 6u174r_d00d - United States

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: