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HelenKeller1

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HelenKeller1

62Fucked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8622
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁 I'm a busy person but I try to answer messages, so ask me anything 😊

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 21 hours ago<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - yesterday at 6:24pm<b>javankipp</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 3:59pm<b>Mons</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:01pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:26am<b>am1717</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 3:39am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:28am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:32am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:16pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:13am<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:34am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:14am<b>spursfan101</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:24pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:07pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 6:11am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 6:01pm<b>Linemanmike</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:15am<b>johny93</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:44pm

Fucked!<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 8:52pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:47am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:26pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:28pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:03pm<b>johny93</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 3:15am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:00am<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 6:06am<b>dbyrne20</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:43am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:55am<b>chandler88</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:38pm<b>ardenxo</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 6:35am<b>youngmessi252525</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:11am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 9:33pm<b>Linemanmike</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 12:00am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:58pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 6:25am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:29am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59153) - you deserved it (4608)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51994) - you deserved it (4747)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62952) - you deserved it (9137)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49569) - you deserved it (10950)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

#20641701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25601) - you deserved it (37857)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:41pm - misc - by Fatty Fatty Fatso (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72087) - you deserved it (10738)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64917) - you deserved it (9789)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63052) - you deserved it (8184)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML

#20586776
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44561) - you deserved it (11889)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73963) - you deserved it (11903)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68319) - you deserved it (3315)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16298) - you deserved it (62101)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56508) - you deserved it (18897)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

#20561915
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41270) - you deserved it (18610)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39558) - you deserved it (5544)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)



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