HelenKeller1

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HelenKeller1

91Fucked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10453
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁 22 piercings & counting.

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - 15 hours ago<b>MoDDbest</b> - 16 hours ago<b>stuckintime</b> - 17 hours ago<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 9:08am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 1:50pm<b>KeatonHanson</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 11:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:28pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:46pm<b>infernno</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:23pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 8:19pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 5:03pm<b>Mons</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 3:31pm<b>Emanpirate68</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 1:39pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 6:29am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 11:44am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 12:18pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 4:40pm

Fucked!<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Emanpirate68</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 7:39pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:32pm<b>davidaloco123</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:06am<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:39pm<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:12am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:24pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 11:05pm<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 7:18pm<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 3:36am<b>ChugTheBleach</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 9:47pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 2:44pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:26am<b>fastman19</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:50pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 4:27pm<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 3:12pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 9:13am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

by homo fuckofftus / 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's mum publicly shamed him on Facebook after she caught him having sex under her roof today. Everyone thought it was hilarious, except me. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I'm over 300 miles away right now. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2015 at 8:16am / United Kingdom (York) / Love

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

by McWhopper / 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

by dadoftheyear / 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

by baby_trex_arms / 05/05/2015 at 11:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

by Forever alone / 05/01/2015 at 10:24am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

by Iwtumn / 04/30/2015 at 2:15pm / Austria (Steiermark) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

by MiniJeans / 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

by fuck you / 04/26/2015 at 4:19am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

by anonymousyo / 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

by fatass / 04/20/2015 at 1:01pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

by fuck / 04/18/2015 at 10:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

by losing the plot / 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous