HelenKeller1

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HelenKeller1

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HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9396
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁 22 piercings & counting.

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>frankmz</b> - 12 hours ago<b>doubledutchy</b> - 16 hours ago<b>infernno</b> - 18 hours ago<b>bigwell</b> - yesterday at 7:28am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - yesterday at 1:26am<b>OmgimBored</b> - yesterday at 9:35pm<b>xlJOEY</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 6:49pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:50am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 12:13am<b>juanakacamilo</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 4:47pm<b>ChugTheBleach</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:47pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 9:26am<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 4:49pm<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 4:01pm<b>Roostermann25</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:50am<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 11:46pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 6:21pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 8:03pm

Fucked!<b>OmgimBored</b> - yesterday at 3:36am<b>ChugTheBleach</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 9:47pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 2:44pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:26am<b>fastman19</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:50pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 4:27pm<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 3:12pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 9:13am<b>Roostermann25</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 6:53pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 10:05pm<b>infernno</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 7:05am<b>papa_vas</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 3:06am<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:44pm<b>BstMode</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 9:16am<b>A07</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 3:51am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 9:19pm<b>Mattyjay13</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 2:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:48pm

HelenKeller1's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

by tumbleshay / 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

by Stressed Mother / 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

by fuck / 03/18/2015 at 1:40pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 5:44am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, at 2:00 am, my neighbor discovered "What Does The Fox Say?" He loves it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2015 at 5:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

by greatly disturbed / 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

by teapotrevolt / 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started complaining how her kids keep demanding dragon stuff and that mine will start after they see the movie. I don't have any kids, and I didn't have the courage to tell her I was buying it for myself. FML

by MDoremis / 02/23/2015 at 11:58pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML

by tom28402 / 02/22/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

by heymacie / 02/19/2015 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous