Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HelenKeller1

Offline (the 08/29/2015 at 12:41am) | Search for a member

HelenKeller1

33Fucked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 7558
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 17, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>mclint_</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:52pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:22pm<b>marktimemark</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 12:42pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 12:56am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:36am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:54am<b>PaulChristie</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:18pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:06am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:08am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:10pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 1:05am<b>JustAnotherJose2</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 6:04pm<b>nomrana</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 1:16am<b>moron011</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 10:17pm<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:12pm<b>mhb210</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 8:10pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:07am

Fucked!<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:23pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:11pm<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:00am<b>Martermelon</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:41am<b>demonte_jones</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:49am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:55pm<b>TheDog6</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:18am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:17am<b>Joshery</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 7:50pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 5:13am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 7:32pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:37am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:21am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:39pm<b>allred1997</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 8:30am<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:15pm

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (3831)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

#21424643
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (3842)

On 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by Badhairday - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31243) - you deserved it (2229)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31190) - you deserved it (2911)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34443) - you deserved it (5147)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (4527)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

#21402837
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you deserved it (11335)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:24am - love - by Forever alone - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44424) - you deserved it (3318)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

#21396824
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29187) - you deserved it (7381)

On 04/20/2015 at 1:01pm - love - by fatass - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22809) - you deserved it (30419)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (16294)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

#21376941
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28739) - you deserved it (3798)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, at 2:00 am, my neighbor discovered "What Does The Fox Say?" He loves it. FML

#21376518
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (2055)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML

#21376328
105 comments


FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: