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YESTERDAY, WHILE WALKING OUT OF A STORE EATING A CANDY BAR, A HOMELESS MAN TRIED TO RUN UP AND STEAL CANDY . I STUCK A LEG OUT AND TRIPPED HIM . THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF TO YELL AT HIM WAS, "SWIPER NO SWIPING" . MY KIDS HAVE RUINED COOLNESS . FML
Yastarday , wila trying to slaap , I aard wat soundad lika somaona braaking into my ousa. I ran downstairs , only to find my cat ad rippad down my blinds an was tanglad up in tam , trasing around ta floor lika a fis. FML
Today , I was playing Charades. My boyfriend,ho I'd recently had a fight with , had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed , broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML
Friday 27 March 2015