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Hazelino's favorite FMLs
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 10:24am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 4:30am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML
by cinderella / 09/27/2010 at 10:47am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Intimacy
by Michelle / 09/01/2010 at 4:27am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking with the dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling another friend came by, and we went talking for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone in the water instead of his stick. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 9:27am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals
by JoannaG25 / 08/17/2010 at 7:43am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML
by Ugly / 03/08/2009 at 4:47am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by isthisajoke / 01/14/2009 at 10:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by carrie / 01/13/2009 at 1:41am / Algeria / Miscellaneous
Today, as I came out of some changing rooms in a clothes shop, I gave back all the stuff I'd tried on to a saleswoman. I then walk off, make it about a couple of yards, change my mind and decide to purchase one of the items I'd tried. When I get back, the saleswoman was spraying the changing room I'd used with deodorant. FML
by carla / 01/12/2009 at 8:35pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML
- Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today, my crush got together with a dude on my 18th birthday party after I tried my best to win her… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…
- Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or…