Hazelino

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Hazelino

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HazelinoHazelino
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 September 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3180
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Hazelino : i'm a proffesional conversationkiller

Hazelino's page activity

Visits<b>I_Like_Boobs</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 7:52am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 8:27am<b>pred8885</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 12:02pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 11:37am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 11:03am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:30pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Pocket_Aces2552</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:58pm<b>hater4lizife</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:11pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 7:07am<b>avoriginiess</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:21pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:53pm<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:56am<b>okcnation</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:37am<b>Uglyfeet</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:57am<b>callmeDoug</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:35pm<b>eddie1122</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:45pm<b>nowNlaterKid</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:06am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:30pm<b>hater4lizife</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 11:11pm

Hazelino's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Hazelino's badges

Hazelino's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

by anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 1:36am / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

by :( / 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML

by foreversingle / 06/30/2013 at 2:09pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML

by ineedbetterfriends / 06/15/2013 at 5:08pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy

Today, I was directing traffic at work during one of the hottest days of the year. Not only do I have to stand in the heat and exhaust fumes for minimum wage, I also had to endure people asking me "Aren't you hot?" as they drove past me in their air conditioned cars. FML

by Sarah / 07/23/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work