About Hayman68 : I am a huge Potterhead.
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Hayman68's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML
by OopsMonkey / 09/13/2011 at 9:43am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML
by Extended_desktop / 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm / Poland / Intimacy
by RetroDayDreamer / 09/10/2011 at 11:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML
by Not_you17 / 09/09/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Georgia) / Money
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health
by KayDayParade / 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 12:34pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
by wellhellothere / 04/17/2011 at 3:25am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML
by Anonymous / 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…