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HaygoodLookin's favorite FMLs
Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML
by **(: / 08/09/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by Hahapasdroleleptit / 05/10/2011 at 10:56am / France / Kids
by wtfisthisworldcomingto / 04/25/2011 at 8:11am / Miscellaneous
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / France / Love
by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 3:34am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2010 at 4:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by someoneelsessaliva / 06/05/2010 at 2:59am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Nick / 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 mins and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say "oh cool". FML
by Sheggie / 01/30/2010 at 12:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend was leaving for work. From the other room I heard him call out, "see you soon beautiful." Touched, I went to give him a parting kiss. He stopped me and said, "I was talking to the cat." FML
by burned_away / 08/19/2009 at 2:10pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML
by rollerSWEETness / 06/03/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…