About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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Harpy20's favorite FMLs
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML
by 404: fuck not given / 11/23/2014 at 11:34am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML
by drop dead single / 11/22/2014 at 8:44am / United States / Love
by ShutUp007 / 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by spreadburger / 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 11:35am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 11:20am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by SeriousJoker72 / 10/10/2014 at 9:17pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
by shatfjord / 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by JulietMarie / 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML
by xRyu / 10/08/2014 at 8:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by epic174 / 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm / United States / Holidays
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…