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HannaJaide's favorite FMLs
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by mykhael / 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
by frustrated / 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Intimacy
Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML
by deadman / 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SimG / 07/07/2013 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by holyshart / 06/05/2012 at 5:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
by mrs.nerd / 10/23/2011 at 8:38am / United States / Love
by ohgodwhy / 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
- Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…