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HannaBeech

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HannaBeech
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  • Number of visits : 75
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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HannaBeech's favorite FMLs

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56876) - you deserved it (27109)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35170) - you deserved it (4493)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45224) - you deserved it (8509)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43090) - you deserved it (4322)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37598) - you deserved it (2528)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (4767)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48599) - you deserved it (6706)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36292) - you deserved it (4445)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50359) - you deserved it (4594)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML



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