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HandaPitler

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HandaPitler
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 398
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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HandaPitler's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30493) - you deserved it (6348)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27408) - you deserved it (1646)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (3009)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (6537)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

#19898504
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17845) - you deserved it (5853)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (3752)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35977) - you deserved it (3780) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5198) - you deserved it (23376)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

#18402920
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16533) - you deserved it (4678)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

#17621188
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18789) - you deserved it (10528)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML

#14908129
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25020) - you deserved it (5627)

On 02/09/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by PrestonW -

Today, I missed my own surprise party because, having heard it being planned, I though it was going to be an intervention. FML

#13328394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6598) - you deserved it (37518)

On 10/05/2010 at 10:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML

#13153381
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19435) - you deserved it (7233)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:49am - work - by pizzacat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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