Hamz1989

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Hamz1989

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 723
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Hamz1989 : I'm one of the nicest cats you'll ever have the pleasure in knowing.

Hamz1989's page activity

Visits<b>lalalexie88</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:22am<b>KatelynLS</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:28pm<b>moldypickles</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Bball_L3g3nd</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:13am<b>Starshadow</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 5:58pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 7:07pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 2:05am<b>Xotoolyxo</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 2:41pm<b>carry_on</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 9:15am<b>neeni88</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 12:30pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 5:39pm<b>Wongyeming</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 9:19am<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 6:07am<b>kevinalan</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 11:46pm<b>Supcio</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 12:11pm<b>RainbowDashie140</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 12:01pm<b>ReelKneeGrow</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 3:45am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 3:03am

Hamz1989's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Hamz1989's badges

Hamz1989's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

by jealouspussy / 02/20/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

by Sigh / 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Transportation

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

by facepalm / 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

by klovemachine / 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm / United States / Work

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

by jdrew32 / 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Intimacy

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 11:27am / Serbia / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a voice-mail from my manager saying I had the day off. Excited, I made plans with my friends. A few minutes ago I got a call from my other manager yelling at me for not showing up, and the original manager revealed he had me confused with another girl. FML

by TheBaconater / 02/03/2013 at 11:22am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

by wetqueefa / 02/03/2013 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 2:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 2:14am / United States (Colorado) / Money

Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2013 at 9:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work